Overcoming Limiting Beliefs: A Coach’s Guide to Rewriting Your Inner Dialogue
We’ve all been there—feeling stuck, frustrated, or like we’re our own worst enemy. Much of the time, these roadblocks aren’t caused by external circumstances but by our own limiting beliefs: those deep-seated thoughts that tell us we’re not capable, worthy, or “enough.” These beliefs can keep us from taking action, pursuing dreams, or even enjoying life. But the good news? These beliefs are not facts—they’re simply thoughts we’ve held onto for too long. Today, let’s explore how to recognize, challenge, and reframe these limiting beliefs to empower yourself.
One powerful tool we’ll dive into is Tapping, also known as the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), a practice that combines elements of cognitive reframing with gentle acupressure. Let’s get started!
What Are Limiting Beliefs?
Limiting beliefs are self-imposed ideas that restrict what we believe we can achieve. They often stem from childhood experiences, societal pressures, or negative feedback that we’ve internalized over time. While some beliefs can serve us well (like the belief that “hard work pays off”), limiting beliefs often lead to feelings of inadequacy or fear.
Common limiting beliefs might include:
“I’m not smart enough to succeed.”
“I don’t deserve happiness.”
“If I try, I’ll just fail.”
“Other people are better than me.”
“I can’t change; this is who I am.”
These beliefs can feel very real and have a powerful impact on our lives. But with awareness and effort, you can learn to reframe them into positive, supportive statements that help rather than hinder you.
Recognizing Your Limiting Beliefs
Awareness is the first step in changing any belief. Often, limiting beliefs hide in our daily thoughts and reactions. You can begin by tuning into your inner dialogue. Here are some questions to help identify and explore your limiting beliefs:
What do I believe about myself and my abilities?
What fears do I have when I think about my goals or desires?
What negative thoughts repeat in my mind?
Example: Sarah, a client, realized she often thought, “I don’t have what it takes to be a leader.” As she traced this belief back, she recognized it stemmed from a time in her early career when a mentor had criticized her leadership style. This single experience had shaped a limiting belief that she wasn’t “leadership material.”
Reframing Limiting Beliefs
Once you’ve identified a limiting belief, the next step is to reframe it. Reframing involves creating a new, positive statement that empowers rather than restricts. The goal isn’t to ignore or deny the original belief but to reshape it into a helpful and realistic thought.
To reframe a belief, try these steps:
Acknowledge the Belief: Write down the belief and acknowledge how it has impacted you.
Challenge the Belief: Ask yourself if this belief is objectively true. Look for evidence that contradicts it.
Create a New Statement: Formulate a new, positive statement that supports growth and self-worth.
Example Reframe:
Limiting Belief: “I’m not a leader.”
Reframed Belief: “I am developing my leadership skills every day. I am capable of leading with authenticity and confidence.”
Introducing Tapping (EFT) as a Tool for Rewriting Beliefs
Tapping, or Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), is a unique technique that combines cognitive awareness of a belief with gentle tapping on acupressure points. This practice helps release emotional blockages, reduce stress, and ease the discomfort associated with negative thoughts.
Here’s how to try a basic EFT Tapping session to reframe a limiting belief:
Identify the Limiting Belief: Think about the belief and any negative emotions it brings up.
Rate Your Discomfort: Rate the intensity of your belief on a scale of 1 to 10. This helps track progress.
Choose a Setup Phrase: For example, “Even though I believe I’m not good enough, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Tap Through the Points: Gently tap on the following points while repeating a reminder phrase (like “I’m not good enough”) or an affirmation (like “I am enough”).
Eyebrow (inner edge)
Side of the Eye (outer corner)
Under the Eye
Under the Nose
Chin
Collarbone
Under the Arm (side of the chest)
Top of the Head
Reassess: After a few rounds, take a deep breath and rate your belief again. Notice any shifts or changes.
With consistent practice, tapping can help neutralize the emotional intensity of limiting beliefs, making it easier to replace them with empowering thoughts.
If you want to learn more about tapping and how to incorporate it into your routine check out my tapping playlist on YouTube HERE!
Practical Exercises to Challenge Limiting Beliefs
Alongside EFT, here are some additional exercises you can use to change your inner dialogue:
The “Evidence Collector” Exercise: Write down moments that counteract your limiting belief. If your belief is “I’m not successful,” collect evidence of times when you achieved something meaningful. This helps your mind “see” alternative possibilities.
Daily Affirmations: Affirmations are powerful statements that help you focus on positive beliefs. Write an affirmation related to your new belief (e.g., “I am capable and deserving of success”) and repeat it each morning.
Visualization: Imagine yourself without the limiting belief. How would you behave? What would you pursue? Visualizing yourself in this new, empowered state can create a mental map for stepping into that reality.
Mindfulness Journaling: Use a journal to become more aware of your self-talk. Reflect on instances when you notice a limiting belief and write down a reframed, empowering statement.
Real-Life Example of Overcoming a Limiting Belief
Example: Alex, a young professional, always believed he was “too shy” to succeed in sales. Through journaling, he realized this belief came from a high school speech that went poorly. After practicing EFT to release the discomfort tied to that memory, he began reframing his belief. He changed “I’m too shy for sales” to “I connect well with people one-on-one, and I can build relationships by being genuine.” Over time, this belief shift allowed him to excel in his career and enjoy his work.
Wrapping Up: Embracing a New Inner Dialogue
Changing long-held beliefs takes time, patience, and self-compassion. It’s natural to feel some resistance when reframing beliefs or practicing tapping, but remember that growth often feels uncomfortable before it feels empowering. Each step you take towards rewriting your inner dialogue is a step toward a life of greater confidence, freedom, and self-acceptance.
Takeaway: You are not your limiting beliefs. You have the power to reframe them, to adopt new empowering beliefs, and to step into a life that aligns with your potential. Try incorporating these exercises, and with practice, you’ll find it easier to quiet those inner critics and embrace a mindset that fuels your growth and happiness.
Let’s start today—take a few minutes to identify a limiting belief and reframe it.
